How to make amends
So, you’ve hurt someone or done something bad and want to make amends? We run through our experiences on the best ways to do this. We also revisit last week’s topic of emotional labour and hear from our audience on what is a very messy, very difficult and very real dilemma.
What exactly is emotional labour? Nas talks about it all the time, Dan is still unclear about what it is, so he speaks to Gemma Hartley, Author of ‘Fed Up: Emotional labor, women and the way forward’, to find out more.
Gemma Hartley, author of Fed Up: Emotional labor, women and the way forward
Last week we talked about the importance of men being allies even if they haven’t been perfect in their behaviour towards women, but is there a line to this?
Today’s guest tells us of a time he was called out and ended up having to question his role as an ally to women, and we hear from author and educator Jackson Katz on this dilemma. . . . .
Omar Aziz, co-host of The Samovar Network podcast
Jackson Katz, author and educator
How to be an ally
We brainstorm a list of things men can do to be allies to women, and how women can best encourage men trying to be allies. And we want to hear from you on what has or hasn’t worked in your own lives.
Why are meltdowns gendered? Do we ever talk of men having meltdowns? If not then why not, and what does this mean about our expectations of how women and men can express themselves? We get some help from our friends at the hit podcast A Gay and a NonGay to figure this out.
We’re off to rest over the festive season and will be back on 7th January 2019 – speak to you then.
Guests: A Gay and a NonGay podcast hosts James Barr and Dan Hudson
Walking on Eggshells
Nas often feels like she’s walking on eggshells on this show; she has to be honest with men but also keep them engaged and not annoy them so much that they give up. Dan and Nas try to figure this out.
We also hear more from Kasia Urbaniak, the former Taoist Nun, former Dominatrix, and women’s power coach who told us how women can ask for what they want a few weeks ago. Kasia fills us in on the ways in which women silence each other in a bid to survive and how telling a man the truth is an act of love.
The Nitty Gritty
You’ll have noticed we’ve been changing the direction of the podcast over the past few weeks, with there being fewer abstract explorations of ideas and more delving into the nitty gritty of how men and women can actually better relate in these confusing times.
As such we’ll have having more audience participation, so send us your thoughts.
Men’s coach David Lion helps us to help an audience member with a dilemma, and tells us about his online summit called Evolving Men, which is all about helping men figure out how to live more wholeheartedly. The summit features exclusive talks from 25 expert men and runs until 8th December.
And we also delve back into the topic that keeps on coming up: disenfranchised men.
Let's talk about (real and fake) sex
Porn is pervasive in today's internet culture. But does the typical male gaze leave women out of the viewing audience? And what does this one-way perspective do to our real-life sexual and personal relationships?
As Nas and Dan take a break this week, co-producers Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell tackle the subject of porn and real world sex and how we can make online content for everyone. We talk to sextech entrepreneur and pioneer, Cindy Gallop from MakeLoveNotPorn and education and psychology lecturer, Sam Carr, from the University of Bath.
Sam Carr, Senior Lecturer in Education and Director of Studies for Education with Psychology, Department of Education, University of Bath, UK
Disenfranchised men - round 2
Our listeners are annoyed! Many of you were unhappy with our take on disenfranchised men last week after we interviewed former New York Times reporter and author Andrew Yarrow, who has written Man Out about men on the sidelines of American society.
We read out some of your emails and invite one of our audience members to figure out: what do we do about disenfranchised men? Should we do anything at all? And exactly who should be getting involved?
Guest: Alex, listener of the podcast
Former New York Times journalist Andrew Yarrow joins us to talk about why so many men in America feel disenfranchised, and how this is impacting everyone else.
Men around the world have seen their position shift drastically over the past few decades. Some of the key reasons given include the rise of women and big changes in the global economy, leading to some of the political unrest and upheavals of the past decade.
So, what do we do with disenfranchised men?
Men and commitment issues – round 2
A few weeks ago Dan tried to convince us that the stereotype of men having commitment issues was exaggerated and false, and he made a good case for this. But Nas was still left wondering where these assumptions come from and realized that Dan had evaded some key issues entirely! So this week we come back for a second round to delve in further.
#MeToo & Hollywood: the fallout
It’s a year since allegations against Harvey Weinstein broke, leading to a real opening of conversation about sexual harassment and assault against women, be it at the hands of powerful men or in day to day life.
We speak to a Hollywood insider about the situations and we also dig into the mixed messages men have been getting over the past year: what exactly do women want from men during these sensitive but important times?
Guest: Steph, works in the film and entertainment industry in Hollywood
Slow Burn’s Leon Neyfakh on gender in US politics
Hit podcast Slow Burn just spent their second season looking at the saga around Bill Clinton’s impeachment. They revisited Bill Clinton’s affair with then 22-year old unpaid intern Monica Lewinsky, and looked at the varied reactions from feminists, as well as Juanita Broderick’s allegations that the president had raped her.
The season went out at while Brett Kavanaugh’s senate confirmation hearings were happening, which made for especially timely and important listening, and allowed the audience to compare current events to those of the recent past, with often some of the same politicians and political operatives being involved in both situations.
We wanted to know about how making this season affected host Leon Neyfakh’s own perceptions of gender in US politics, and how he looks back on President Clinton as a result.
How women can ask for what they want
Former dominatrix and former Taoist nun Kasia Urbaniak teaches women about power and influence at her school The Academy.
She walks us through this unique time where women are finally speaking openly and honestly and expressing their rage, and how we can best get men and women to support each other through the necessary but transformative mess ahead.